just a short one
i used to try to distance myself from my emotions. i tried to be detached from life and relationships in order to keep perspective and stay in control
... to keep tears from falling
... to be safe from the rollercoasters of life
... to not be disappointed
but it ends up, without real tears there really aren't real smiles. and the rollercoaster eventually ends and if i hang on, i am fine. its okay to close my eyes in terror and scream with everything ive got, maybe it even adds to the fun. and while i hate being disappointed, i love anticipation (and id rather anticipate and be disappointed than never want anything that badly)
and tonight my heart is full of so many things and it amazes me that parts of me can be so happy and some so sad and others dreading while still other parts are hoping. it is an amazing thing. it feels i am schlepping around hundreds of pounds in my chest but id rather it be filled to the brim than empty and hollow
posted by K2 in A2 @ 11:44 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Wow! Short, but intense. I agree with you btw.
i was so glad to see your comment because i changed my blog's face and lost your url. now i will bookmark u though.
i am the opposite how you described here, but one of my best friends is like you ( tends to be apart from emotions). so... it is really cool to read how you are in this way (since i don't actually know you that well, just have my perception, and a lot of times my perceptions are false if i don't know someone that well...) - so thanks for sharing.
i'm praying right this minute for both of us as God balances us...well makes us more like His Son.
u still thinking of the peace corps? corp? whatever? :)
p.s. that picture of the little door was taken by susan grant last sunday when we had lunch. for some reason it took two days to get to my blog? but whatever.
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