a little disjointed

Well I know I'm not going to do any of this justice, but I've got to get some of it out now, cuz it won't wait until tomorrow.

The quickest way to make me angry is hurt someone I love. The tension I feel is so great when someone I love hurts someone else that I love. It is so frustrating. I have rage one hand and love on the other. Because the act (either mindless or malicious) isn't directed towards me, I don't feel that it is justified to show my anger and let it interfere with my relationship with that person (unless it is a big enough deal, then of course it will) - but it is so hard not to let it because it does affect me. I usually end up taking an offense for the wounded party, but that isn't always justified either ... ugh, I hate unresolved conflict! This is why I am way *way* to blunt for my own good. I always think talking about stuff is better, even when it is hard to talk about. If you are pissed, say something -- don't be mean ... and if someone's meanness hurts you, say something -- don't sit and be hurt and let things fester into unforgiveness.

I'm a baby and can't handle strife and conflict and things constantly brewing under the surface.