ehh

So I'm working today/tonight on my project and wow, it is crazy that I am almost done. I don't even know what to think about that. I feel like I have been so comsumed with my work and study that I have had little time for anything else. I find what I crave most is friendship.

This morning I was thinking about two of my best friends from undergrad, and how I feel like calling them my "best friends" at this point is ridiculous. I keep trying to get in contact with them ... but they don't really call me back. The last time one called was for directions as she was coming to Ann Arbor. She wanted us to get together if I were around (so she said) but she didnt even bother letting me know that she was coming until she was on her way ... and I was at my parents that day. I know that people grow apart, but that's ridiculous. Is calling to see how I am, when you don't need anything, to much to expect from a "best friend"?

Okay, obviously I'm pretty hurt about this.

My parents don't cultivate friendships. I've always felt sad for them because they don't have any. Everyone they are "friends" with are people that use them. Seriously, it's pretty sad.

I worry that because I haven't seen an example of friendships that last beyond convenience maybe I won't be able to have any.