i say "hhmm..."

My co-worker and I were discussing the quote “only the educated are free” that hangs on our wall. This led to the topic of freedom itself. Somehow we began talking about Matrix and how she does not see the need for people to “know” that they aren’t free – they feel free and are happy in that and that is enough. I initially disagreed with her because of my internal desire to know truth, but when I stop to think about it, I feel sometimes I use this same strand of thinking when dealing with the issue of free-will. (A couple weeks ago this came up in our small group and I was unfortunately called on to give my opinion. If you know me, you know that as fascinating as this topic is to me, I do not like to discuss it in contexts that allow hard feelings to transpire. But this is my blog, so I am going to write a small amount about it on here.)


In Mattheew 26:55-56 Jesus says,”At that time Jesus said to the crowds, "Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest Me as you would against a robber? Every day I used to sit in the temple teaching and you did not seize Me. "But all this has taken place to fulfill the Scriptures of the prophets." Then all the disciples left Him and fled”. When I read this yesterday I was pretty amazed at the implications of this. … But all this has taken place to fulfill the Scriptures of the prophets … I think about the main players in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ and when they were plotting his death, I feel pretty confident that they did not realize that they were personally aiding the fulfillment of the prophecy they claimed Jesus was not fulfilling. So who then was orchestrating this? Whose hand was leading/guiding/ensuring the fulfillment of Scripture if not God’s?

a little disjointed

Well I know I'm not going to do any of this justice, but I've got to get some of it out now, cuz it won't wait until tomorrow.

The quickest way to make me angry is hurt someone I love. The tension I feel is so great when someone I love hurts someone else that I love. It is so frustrating. I have rage one hand and love on the other. Because the act (either mindless or malicious) isn't directed towards me, I don't feel that it is justified to show my anger and let it interfere with my relationship with that person (unless it is a big enough deal, then of course it will) - but it is so hard not to let it because it does affect me. I usually end up taking an offense for the wounded party, but that isn't always justified either ... ugh, I hate unresolved conflict! This is why I am way *way* to blunt for my own good. I always think talking about stuff is better, even when it is hard to talk about. If you are pissed, say something -- don't be mean ... and if someone's meanness hurts you, say something -- don't sit and be hurt and let things fester into unforgiveness.

I'm a baby and can't handle strife and conflict and things constantly brewing under the surface.